Period 7 (right after lunch). Started at 1:31. No one there. Hallway full, hallway clears. 1:35. No one. We're eight minutes deep (that's right, 1:39) before I get one student. A total of three show up, out of what is a paltry 21 on the roster, the last one at about 2:00.
What do I think while I'm waiting? What did I do to make this happen. Why isn't my class the exciting, wonderful place that "brings math alive", that no one would ever cut, for fear of missing out on a miraculous moment of learning? Or, in another light, why isn't my class the place where students feel at all times the searing laser of accountability, fueled by high expectations, where cutting would seem like academic suicide? I know, because, despite all of the hours and tears I've poured in, somehow I've poured them the wrong way, and my classroom didn't end up, in May of my third year, the way I wanted it to for my students. And knowing (1) what my students need (2) that I have wanted nothing ever at all more than to give it to them (3) that I haven't given it to them is usually more than I can take.
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